język polskijęzyk angielski

If you need a woman, just kidnap her!

Genre
Comedy
Original language of the play
Characters
Adam – an average-looking man (45); Elżbieta – a slim brunette, delicate and gentle (35); Czesława – a well-built, energetic lady (50); Wiesio – her husband (50)
Original title
Jeżeli pragniesz kobiety, to ją porwij

A three-act comedy

In his loneliness, Adam decides to turn to an unusual method of getting good company. He kidnaps lonely ladies from the streets. When the women get to his apartment he invites them for an elegant dinner-party. There are candles burning, champagne, delicious food and intelligent conversation. No sex, no harassment at all. Then – goodbye. However, one evening he meets Elżbieta who, after a moment of shock, gets used to being kidnapped and likes it so much that she decides not to come back to her boring husband. She begs Adam to let her stay, confesses true affection and promises to be as quiet as a mouse. She won’t mind all the other ladies. Adam feels trapped now, almost as if he himself was kidnapped, but he believes that the next day crazy Elżbieta will see him in a less romantic light. Maybe this sudden love will go away. He finally gives her his pajamas, but when she is under the shower, the doorbell rings. It’s Czesława, who has just come to stay forever, leaving behind her boring husband and all the miseries of everyday life. Czesława and Elzbieta feel like a family already. Then Czesława’s husband rushes into the flat. His wife refuses to go back. Now Adam has to teach Wiesław how to be an attractive, macho kidnapper. The conversation transforms into a therapy. As it is coming to the end, everybody loves somebody. Eventually, Adam and Wiesław want to spend some time together in a separate room. A glass of beer or two, watching football, some man-to-man conversation. The ladies clean up the table. A typical end of an ordinary family day.